She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
