So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
