He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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