I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize