i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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