I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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