How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
