Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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