i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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