Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
