god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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