Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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