Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
