While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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