if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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