all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize