Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
