Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
