you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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