so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'm too high and old for this...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
