You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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