Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
