At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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