Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
