The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you never un-have a 4some
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
