I hate your face
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
