She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
