Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
where am i from again
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
