that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
