i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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