so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Text me some of your sweat
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
