Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize