Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
