I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I smell like Dick and happiness
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize