Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
