How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
