Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
