She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
