I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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