my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
