Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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