What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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