What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
