this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize