Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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