he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
