Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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