I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
