i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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