he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
