her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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