This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
