Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
