i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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