i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize