Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He shit in the fireplace
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize