He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I love you. Go after that dick
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
