doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
