So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
