The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Hippo gnu deer
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
