I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
