I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Randomize
